"She taught me everything I know." These are the words that my mother said to her doctor today as he was filling out orders for her to be admitted into an Alzheimer's Assisted Living facility. He raised his head from the riddle of questions of the required forms and looked at me and I returned a look with raised eyebrows.
I looked at Mother as she was sitting on the side of the patient bed in the small examination room, swinging her legs dangling over the sides, like a child would do and she smiled at me. My world as I knew it immediately did a 180 on me and I struggled with the imbalance of this topsy-turvy event.
This particular day was like every other monthly visit to her doctor for her routine check up, except for one thing......I'm getting ready to place her in another world of confusion. As I heard these words expressed out loud of how she sees "who I am", I had to really come to the realization that she's changed her role in her world. She wishes to no longer be the parent or is it that she wants to be in a place where she can learn more vicariously through me? Now I am her teacher, her mentor, her parent. I have become the mirror of her soul as see looks up to me, depending on me for her needs through my guidance and reassurance and security to get her through her days and nights.
Well, she will be a very hard act to follow, being such a role model of a nurturing mother and wife, a scholar and master of education. She devoted her career of 32 years teaching little ones of five years old and never once did she complain of her days. So no Mother, "You have taught me everything I know and I only hope to be able to follow in your footsteps on this journey with you."
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
We're On The Move To End Alzheimer's
In honor of my mother and her brother, my uncle, who both are afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease in different stages, I will be participating in a Memory Walk for our local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association on September 27, 2008.
My hopes are to awaken many to the facts of this disease and the urgency of support in funding education and resources as well as much needed research for the cause and cure of Alzheimer's.
Today an estimated 5 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s. And with 78 million baby boomers approaching the age of greatest risk for this fatal disease, the need to find a cure is more urgent than ever.
This year, to support individuals and families living with the disease – as well as those who may be affected in the future – I’m participating in the Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk® to raise funds and awareness for Alzheimer’s disease.
The Alzheimer's Association is the leading voluntary health organization in Alzheimer care, support and research, and funds I raise will go directly toward supporting their efforts.
I know I can make a difference with your support. Will you consider making a donation? It’s easy to give online by following the link below.
Thank you in advance for your time and generosity – together, we can help to end Alzheimer’s!
Memory Walk is nationally presented by Genworth Financial.
Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Alzheimer's Association Mid South Chapter
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If the above link does not work please copy and paste the following into your browser:
http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=266967&u=266967-226648950&e=1807336127
******************************************************************************
Thank you for your support.
My hopes are to awaken many to the facts of this disease and the urgency of support in funding education and resources as well as much needed research for the cause and cure of Alzheimer's.
Today an estimated 5 million Americans are living with Alzheimer’s. And with 78 million baby boomers approaching the age of greatest risk for this fatal disease, the need to find a cure is more urgent than ever.
This year, to support individuals and families living with the disease – as well as those who may be affected in the future – I’m participating in the Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk® to raise funds and awareness for Alzheimer’s disease.
The Alzheimer's Association is the leading voluntary health organization in Alzheimer care, support and research, and funds I raise will go directly toward supporting their efforts.
I know I can make a difference with your support. Will you consider making a donation? It’s easy to give online by following the link below.
Thank you in advance for your time and generosity – together, we can help to end Alzheimer’s!
Memory Walk is nationally presented by Genworth Financial.
Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Alzheimer's Association Mid South Chapter
If the above link does not work please copy and paste the following into your browser:
http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.
******************************
Thank you for your support.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
The Time Has Come
It's been a long 15 months since the death of my father and taking over the role as a caregiver to my ailing mother who is afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease. The road is not an easy one and I'm sure it will be a continual experience of ups an downs, but after personally getting away for a week of much needed rest and relaxation, taking the time to clear my head and find some peace of heart as well as mind over this matter, we, my siblings and I, are searching out alternative living arrangements for our Mother this weekend.
Our goal is to find a place that will give her a much better quality of life for her. One that she can feel welcomed and loved as well as nurtured through the progression of this disease that has robbed her memories of a life filled with hopes and dreams, joys and encouragement for all whom she has touched during her life as a wife, mother, grandmother and teacher and friend to so many.
I am in hopes of assurance for her, where she can feel secure and enjoy those who will bond with her in her state of confusion and restlessness. I want a place for her where when I come to visit her, the light is shining in her eyes and she is smiling again with joy of her new home and friends.
No this is not an easy decision for us, but this is not about "us". It's about her. We've come to the realization that we can no longer give her the kind of nurturing and care that she is reaching out for because we ourselves are spent and drained and weary from this task. It's so painful to be asked, "What's your name?", "Will you live with me so I won't be alone?" and my answer is always the same, "Yes Mom, I'm your daughter and yes, I am living with you."
My compassion is draining due to the daily routine of questions and insecurities she carries with her each morning, but it's still there, just not as strong as it was 15 months ago. My love for her will always reach the surface, but will it become resentment on down the road? I don't want it to become that feeling, not ever, but it's difficult to struggle with it day in and day out.
So yes Mom, we're going to find you that place where you can be secure, be cared for and be given a quality of life you are so very much deserving of in your days of living in the world of "I can't remember". Just know that it's from the deepest love that we have for you that we have come to this decision. I've been missing Mom for quite some time now but I'll always love her.
If you have a loved one that is afflicted with this disease, please help in finding a cure by just clicking the purple ribbon on the right side of my blog page please. A donation of $10 will be given to help find a cure. All you have to do is share the word. Thank you and many blessings to you and yours.
Our goal is to find a place that will give her a much better quality of life for her. One that she can feel welcomed and loved as well as nurtured through the progression of this disease that has robbed her memories of a life filled with hopes and dreams, joys and encouragement for all whom she has touched during her life as a wife, mother, grandmother and teacher and friend to so many.
I am in hopes of assurance for her, where she can feel secure and enjoy those who will bond with her in her state of confusion and restlessness. I want a place for her where when I come to visit her, the light is shining in her eyes and she is smiling again with joy of her new home and friends.
No this is not an easy decision for us, but this is not about "us". It's about her. We've come to the realization that we can no longer give her the kind of nurturing and care that she is reaching out for because we ourselves are spent and drained and weary from this task. It's so painful to be asked, "What's your name?", "Will you live with me so I won't be alone?" and my answer is always the same, "Yes Mom, I'm your daughter and yes, I am living with you."
My compassion is draining due to the daily routine of questions and insecurities she carries with her each morning, but it's still there, just not as strong as it was 15 months ago. My love for her will always reach the surface, but will it become resentment on down the road? I don't want it to become that feeling, not ever, but it's difficult to struggle with it day in and day out.
So yes Mom, we're going to find you that place where you can be secure, be cared for and be given a quality of life you are so very much deserving of in your days of living in the world of "I can't remember". Just know that it's from the deepest love that we have for you that we have come to this decision. I've been missing Mom for quite some time now but I'll always love her.
If you have a loved one that is afflicted with this disease, please help in finding a cure by just clicking the purple ribbon on the right side of my blog page please. A donation of $10 will be given to help find a cure. All you have to do is share the word. Thank you and many blessings to you and yours.
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