If anyone out there is care giver of a family member with an
irreversible affliction of Alzheimer's disease, I'd like to
share some words of compassion from the other side of the fence.
Please....be patient with me. My disease is beyond my control, accept me the way I am. I still have something to offer you. Talk with and listen to me. I can't always answer, but I do understand the tone of your voice. Because I cannot remember, does not mean that I am dumb. Be kind to me. Your kindness may be the highlight of my day. Don't hurry me. Each day I struggle to keep up and understand. Consider my feelings. I am sensitive to shame, embarrassment, failure,
fear and uncertainty. Please don't ignore me. Treat me with dignity. I am not less of a person because I have Alzheimer's disease. Remember my past. Remind me of my successes, values and worth. Remember my present. Let me do what I can do. Break down activities into steps I can handle. I respond to encouragement. Remember my future. I need hope for tomorrow. Pray for me. Your presence shows true compassion.
I too am dealing with the struggles of a love one with this disease, my mother.
She was a scholar in education and taught for 32 years. Now she spends her
days circling the words of books and watching game shows.
She was always so cheerful, giggling and laughing, baking and cooking.
She doesn't laugh with us anymore and she's not very hungry even at the best of times.
She was our cheerleader, mentor, best friend and my confidant. Her conversations would
be lively and fun with teasing and wit. So now she gets frustrated and confused,
because she can't comprehend our conversations anymore.
She was secure, fearless and confidant and taught us her strength. Now she fears
being alone and lost. She's our shadow now following in our footsteps.
Her eyes would gleam and shine with joy when we would enter her presence.
The light in those eyes are fading and dimming as we have to tell her
who we are by name. Tears fill my heart and I swallow hard to not let them
show when she can't remember that I'm her daughter or if I have to help her
recall the names of her grandchildren that she adored and cherished with so much love.
She can't remember if Daddy (who passed away in April of this year) ever
hugged her or said that he loved her. I smile and tell her, "Yes, Daddy would
hug you, kiss you and dance around the room with you when you were near him."
All she could say was that she was glad to know this because she liked to be hugged. 
I miss my mom, the one I know so well. Now I'm learning to love the mom she is to me today, more and more every day and I'll keep with me the cherished memories of the mom she used to be and share them with her each and every day.
Rainbow | 
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